Catholic Men: Where is your outrage?

"The Church is the main defender of women."

I still want to believe this. But I fear in today's America, this may be wrong.

Because, in light of the tapes aired last weekend of one of our presidential nominees, I continue to wonder:

Catholic Men. Where is your Outrage?

What I hear is murmuring defenses that those are "just things men say" or somehow worse "just words" or "locker room talk."

I hear the denial: "It's not like he *did* anything, he *just* said those things" (Have you asked Why? What would incite any man to say those things out loud except in the confessional?) And, um... let's believe him. Let's take him at his word, like we clearly do every other time. If we believe him when he says he is pro-life, then why not believe him when he says he grabbed a woman by the genitals? He says he actually did these things to women. So let's just believe him.

Now, before you simply brush me off as yet another *hysterical* woman, I challenge you to be bold and courageous - a man of honor - and confront your deepest self. And ask yourself what your responsibility is, when the leaders of the Church, like John Paul II, teaches you that "Christ assigns to every man the dignity of every woman." Every.

Ask yourself what could be influencing your life, that casual conversations about objectification and abuse of women (even intellectually) don't cause you to speak out and fight back, even though the women in your life certainly are doing so (and no, they didn't know those women either).

Ask yourself in what ways you have been snared by the culture of pornography , the multi billion dollar business that is systematically forming the way men think about and objectify women. Ask yourself why your mind doesn't change about the character of the man who may soon be a world leader. Ask yourself how in God's name you can call yourself pro-life and not rise to the defense of women each and every time?

[This is not a blog about voting. Let me be clear. You -and we all - need to vote our consciences . I have strong opinions about the options this year. I have strong enough affinity for my country that I believe we cut ourselves off at the knees by insisting there are only two candidates. And NB: This is not a post about Hillary Clinton. In no uncertain terms.]

What I AM talking about is your apathy. What I AM talking about is all the men out there who are silent on this particular scandal, and on any kind of objectification of women. When we treat people like things, it leads to violence. When we treat people like things, abuse is inevitable. When we treat people like things WE CONTRIBUTE TO A CULTURE OF DEATH.

So, Catholic Men: Where is your outrage?

I expected to see it on Facebook.

I expected to hear it on television/radio.

I expected to hear it in common conversations.

And it almost happened. But not really. So many people got defensive of the words, the actions, and turned to appeals to emotion, a sort of misdirected tu quoque argument, straw man, ad hominem arguments... all the logical fallacy plays in all one place.

And others just went on their merry way, posting all kinds of things about abortion and the Supreme Court. Let's stop using these issues to cover the mess - they are too important and deserve their own space away from scandal.

And while we're talking about men objectifying women, and others not giving a damn (Scarlett), I want to say that those men hiding behind their Catholic organizations to bully good Christian people into voting a certain way and IGNORING the evils of sexual assault and intimidation - you are giving the Church a bad name. Because you - who are Church - are not defending women. And you -who are church - are not upholding her dignity by bullying and some kind of coercion in the name of morality. Follow the bishops if you need leaders. They will not tell you for whom to vote.

Catholic Men: where is your outrage?

I hear plenty of men in plenty of circles of 'holiness' talk about being more manly, doing men's things, being masculine in all the ways the 20th century said to be. I see the men excluding women from their decision making, from policy making, from participating. I hear women talked down to, about, around, beyond.I challenge anyone who finds these to be manly traits. But what I am not seeing this week is men in the Church rising up and standing strongly in defense of women. I am not hearing courage and discernment, and the clarity of the Holy Spirit. I see disunity, cowardice, and the priority of politics over faith, hope and love.

So, as a woman and as your sister in Christ (like it or not) I appeal to you. Be the image of God you are created to be. Uphold the dignity of woman as you are charged. LISTEN to the women in your life. BELIEVE them when they say they have become used to a cycle of objectification of themselves or others. RECOGNIZE that there is so much room for change, and that if your mind did not flinch a bit, or get irked or bothered by those tapes, well... it might be a perfect moment to go talk with Jesus a bit.

Because, there is still hope. There is the hope of the sacrament of Reconciliation. There is the hope of helping your brothers and sisters see the light of truth, and build an actual culture of life that embraces a consistent life ethic, which includes rejecting the outrage of lust and sexual predators. There is hope of contributing to a united humanity, through which we may better mediate God's love and freedom.

There is still time for you to weigh in. There is still time for the Church to redeem herself as a defender of women. You can help. You matter.

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ps. to my several Catholic friends and brothers who are men and who are outraged - who have made a public mention or statement or even a private effort to renounce the evil actions and speech of these tapes - thank you for being exceptional models of Christ to your brothers and sisters... I see you. Thank you.